Self Esteem and Confidence

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how we perceive and value ourselves. It reflects our overall sense of self-worth and confidence in our abilities. Self-esteem influences how we think, feel, and behave daily, shaping our relationships, decision-making, and resilience in facing challenges.


Factors Influencing Self-Esteem

Several factors can shape a person’s self-esteem, including:

  • Childhood Experiences – Supportive parenting, encouragement, and validation contribute to healthy self-esteem, while criticism, neglect, or bullying can lead to low self-esteem.
  • Personal Achievements – Success in academics, work, or personal growth can boost self-esteem, while repeated failures can diminish it.
  • Social Relationships – Positive relationships with family, friends, and colleagues can reinforce a sense of belonging and self-worth, while toxic or critical relationships can have the opposite effect.
  • Cultural and Societal Influences – Media portrayals, societal expectations, and cultural values can shape self-perception and confidence.
  • Mental Health – Conditions such as depression, anxiety, and trauma can negatively affect self-esteem.


Why is Self-Esteem Important?

Self-esteem plays a critical role in mental and emotional well-being. It affects:

  • Decision-Making – People with healthy self-esteem trust themselves and make choices that align with their values and goals.
  • Relationships – A strong sense of self-worth helps form healthy relationships and set boundaries.
  • Resilience – Individuals with high self-esteem cope better with stress, criticism, and failure.
  • Motivation & Productivity – Believing in one’s abilities encourages effort and perseverance.


Key Characteristics of Self-Esteem

  • Internal Self-Worth: Self-esteem comes from within, shaped by beliefs, experiences, and self-perception.
  • Emotional Stability: Those with healthy self-esteem tend to be more emotionally resilient and better at handling criticism.
  • Acceptance of Self: People with high self-esteem accept their strengths and weaknesses without excessive self-judgment.
  • Influenced by Past Experiences: Childhood, upbringing, and relationships often impact self-esteem.


Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem

  • Self-acceptance despite flaws and imperfections.
  • Setting healthy boundaries in relationships.
  • Feeling worthy and deserving of good things in life.
  • Handling failures without feeling completely defeated.
  • Treating oneself with kindness and self-respect.


Signs of Low Self-Esteem

  • Constant self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness.
  • Fear of failure or rejection.
  • Difficulty accepting compliments.
  • Seeking validation from others to feel valued.
  • Comparing oneself negatively to others.


How to Improve Self-Esteem?

If self-esteem is low, it can be improved through:

  • Self-Awareness – Identifying negative thoughts and challenging self-critical beliefs.
  • Positive Self-Talk – Replacing negative self-talk with affirmations and constructive thoughts.
  • Setting Realistic Goals – Focusing on achievable and meaningful goals builds confidence.
  • Practising Self-Care – Prioritizing physical and emotional well-being enhances self-worth.
  • Surrounding Yourself with Positivity – Seeking support from encouraging and understanding people.
  • Seeking Professional Help – Therapy and counselling can help address deep-rooted self-esteem issues.


What is Confidence?

Confidence is the belief in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment. It is the assurance that one can handle challenges, make decisions, and take action in different aspects of life. Confidence is not about always being right or never failing but about trusting oneself to navigate situations effectively.


Key Characteristics of Confidence

  • Action-Oriented: Confidence grows through practice, experience, and success.
  • Situational: Confidence varies depending on the task or situation.
  • Developed Through Experience: The more one practices a skill or overcomes challenges, the more confident one becomes.
  • Linked to Competence: Confidence is often based on knowledge, skills, and preparation.


Why is Confidence Important?

Confidence plays a crucial role in various aspects of life:

  • Decision-Making – Confident individuals make decisions with clarity and assurance.
  • Resilience – Confidence helps overcome setbacks and learn from mistakes.
  • Relationships – Self-assured people communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries.
  • Performance & Success – Confidence encourages individuals to take risks, pursue goals, and push past limitations.


Types of Confidence

Confidence can be categorised into different types:

  • Self-Confidence – The overall belief in one’s abilities and worth.
  • Situational Confidence – Confidence in specific areas, such as public speaking, sports, or academics.
  • Social Confidence – The ability to interact comfortably with others and express oneself without fear of judgment.
  • Emotional Confidence – The ability to manage emotions effectively and remain composed under stress.


What Influences Confidence?

Several factors can impact a person’s confidence levels:

  • Personal Experience – Successes build confidence, while repeated failures can diminish it.
  • Knowledge & Preparation – Being well-prepared increases confidence in performing tasks or making decisions.
  • Support System – Encouragement from family, friends, and mentors can boost confidence.
  • Mindset & Self-Talk – Positive thinking and self-encouragement contribute to confidence, while self-doubt and negative thoughts can lower it.
  • Physical & Mental Health – A healthy lifestyle, including good sleep, nutrition, and exercise, can enhance confidence by improving energy levels and mental clarity.


Signs of High Confidence

  • Willingness to take on new challenges.
  • Making decisions with assurance.
  • Handling criticism without feeling personally attacked.
  • Presenting oneself assertively.
  • Recovering from setbacks quickly.


Signs of Low Confidence

  • Hesitation in making decisions.
  • Fear of public speaking or social interactions.
  • Avoiding challenges due to fear of failure.
  • Constant self-doubt in one's abilities.


How to Build Confidence?

Confidence is not something people are born with; it can be developed through intentional actions:

  • Practice & Preparation – The more you practice a skill or prepare for a situation, the more confident you will feel.
  • Positive Self-Talk – Replacing negative thoughts with constructive affirmations boosts self-assurance.
  • Stepping Out of Comfort Zones – Facing challenges and embracing new experiences help build confidence over time.
  • Focusing on Strengths – Recognizing and utilising personal strengths enhances self-belief.
  • Learning from Failure – Seeing failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback fosters confidence.
  • Good Posture & Body Language – Standing tall, making eye contact, and using open gestures contribute to feeling and appearing confident.


Confidence vs. Arrogance

Confidence should not be confused with arrogance. While confidence is grounded in self-belief and humility, arrogance involves overestimating one's abilities and disregarding others. True confidence allows for self-improvement and respect for others' perspectives.


Confidence is an essential trait that can improve with practice, persistence, and a positive mindset. It empowers individuals to take control of their lives and strive toward their goals.


How Self-Esteem and Confidence are Connected

Though self-esteem and confidence are different, they influence each other. A person with high self-esteem generally has a stable foundation for confidence because they believe in their inherent worth, even if they face setbacks. On the other hand, a person with low self-esteem may struggle to maintain confidence, even in areas they excel in, due to deep-seated feelings of unworthiness.


However, it is possible for a person to have high confidence but low self-esteem or high self-esteem but low confidence:

  • High Confidence, Low Self-Esteem: A person might excel at work or a particular skill but still feel unworthy or inadequate in other aspects of life. For example, a successful athlete or professional might struggle with self-doubt in personal relationships.
  • High Self-Esteem, Low Confidence: Someone may have a strong sense of self-worth but lack confidence in certain abilities, such as public speaking or leadership. They believe they are valuable but recognise their need for skill development.


When both self-esteem and confidence are high, individuals tend to feel empowered, capable, and emotionally secure.


Self-esteem and confidence are both essential for personal growth and success. Self-esteem is about how much you value yourself, while confidence is how much you trust your abilities. Strengthening both leads to greater self-assurance, resilience, and overall well-being.


Individuals can experience greater fulfilment and success by cultivating a positive self-image and building confidence in various areas of life.